I’ve admired Lon Chaney Jr. ever since watching the Wolf Man from 1941. He had such a presence and almost effortless ability to be charming, which still holds strongly in his role as Bruno in Jack Hill’s 1967 Spider Baby. I was damn-pleasantly surprised seeing him again channel a sense of warmth as the caretaker of three adult children of the Merrye family, who are all mentally ill with derangement due to a history of incest, sadly. They’re all living in a dilapidated mansion until one day a lawyer and distant relatives show up on the doorstep to claim what isn’t necessarily rightfully theirs but I digress. It is the obstacle in the story where madness ensues. Much of Spider Baby is a black comedy with elements of horror, done under a campy-like guise which doesn’t disappoint. I suppose if you had to marry two film elements together such as the Addams Family and Psycho you’d wind up with Spider Baby. It’s fun. 

For instance, the opening credits set a silly tone with cutesy animations of all the tropes of horror one’s heart can possibly desire, along with a catchy tune sung by Ronald Stein which will get stuck in your head for days. It’s the ultimate Halloween music by the way. 

Ralph (Sid Haig), Virginia (Jill Banner), and Elizabeth (Beverly Washburn)  the regressed children all have problematic personalities of varying degrees. Virginia pretends to be a spider and catches human prey in her makeshift webs, which is what kills the messenger in the beginning of the film, who’s played by former vaudeville actor, Mantan Moreland. Elizabeth has the “I know better than the rest of you” attitude of the bunch while Ralph is the family favorite and is kind of treated like a fluffy dog. 

As the distant relatives arrive, Emily (Carol Ohmart) and her brother Peter (Quinn Redeker) things go to hell. Also Bruno, being a chauffeur, happens to be escorting the family lawyer Schlocker and his secretary, Ann, who all arrive at the manor for an unplanned dinner, which becomes the most memorable part of the film. It’s clear Emily is not a fan of the children, but Peter has an open mind with a warm accepting nature. As the family scrambles to create a dinner for the new arrivals, Bruno warns them they have a very “austere diet”, which you know the payoff is going to be fun. Ralph presents a cooked cat, which he happily caught and killed. He is so proud of himself too, while the others, specifically Emily, is horrified, forcing herself to bring out a bag of what appear to be chips from her purse. Fungus souffle, grass, and black insect mush is also an option on the dinner menu, which is perfect horror dinner foods. At least it wasn’t pancreas or blood! Man this almost reminds me of the scene in Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which was obviously cannibal heavy but makes you wonder if Spider Baby sprinkle in some small influence. 

If you’re in the mood for popcorn frights, Spider Baby will be your jam. If you crave crisp, black and white film grain, this 60s cult classic will warm your soul. If you like campy, offbeat, weird performances with some slapstick moments, this will make you smile in dumb fashion. Who needs special CGI effects or AI crap-bots to make something as imperfect as this decade’s long fantasy of outcasts, who have a place in all of our weary, overworked stimulating brains? Go watch Spider Baby for wholehearted funsies.